Prefer watching? Watch the video companion, with English narration and English and Indonesian subtitles: for Revenge — Titik Sadrah on YouTube.
I went to Bandung to watch for Revenge. That is the simple version of this trip, and it is true. But it is not the whole reason I wanted to be there.
On October 31, 2026, the band marked twenty years with Titik Sadrah at Eldorado Sport and Convention Hall. I had been listening to them since junior high school. Somewhere between those early songs and the newer ones, their music had become connected to things in my own life that I am still figuring out how to leave behind.
I did not expect a concert to resolve any of that. I just wanted to hear the songs in person, let myself feel sad, and perhaps make a little room for whatever comes next.
Getting to Bandung, without the carsickness
I drove my own car in the morning. On a previous trip, taking a shuttle had left me carsick, and I did not want to spend the beginning of this one recovering from the journey.
The plan was straightforward: get to Bandung, check into a hotel, rest, then head to the concert. I arrived before I could check in, so there was a less cinematic interval involving water and bread from Alfamart while I waited.
At two in the afternoon, I finally got the room. It had a queen bed and was surprisingly spacious. After the drive and the wait, having somewhere to lie down before going out again was enough.
I like that these ordinary parts are in the video too. The night mattered to me, but the day was still a day: driving, waiting, finding something to eat, and trying to get enough rest to enjoy what I had come for.
A band I knew before these songs meant this much
I first listened to for Revenge during my junior-high emo and screamo years. Back then, bands from Jakarta felt closer to me, but I knew this band from Bandung too.
That history was part of the appeal of going. Still, this was not only a nostalgia trip. Over the past few months, some things had happened in my life that made their music land differently. The newer songs, with less screaming, became the ones I connected with more.
I am keeping the details of that story private. They are not necessary to explain the feeling: a song you already know can suddenly sound much more specific when your life changes around it.
The band had been there in one period of my life. Now I was listening from another, hearing things I might not have paid the same attention to before.
The blue butterfly at the beginning
Early in the show, a blue butterfly appeared in the visuals. My mind went straight to Persona 3, its protagonist, and the feeling of saying goodbye.
That was my association, not an explanation of what the band intended. I was bringing my own memories into the room, as I suspect people often do when they listen to music. A familiar image gave those thoughts somewhere to go.
The production exceeded what I had expected. There were visuals and guest appearances, and plenty to take in beyond the songs themselves. But my attention kept returning to the music and to whatever it was stirring up in me.
I cannot say what everyone else in the crowd was feeling. I only know that, for me, being there made it harder to keep those feelings at a comfortable distance.
Not going back, but letting myself remember
I did not go because I wanted to return to the past. I went because I wanted to hear these songs, feel what I needed to feel, and try to let go.
Those can sound like contradictory things. Why spend an evening with music that brings something back if you are trying to move forward?
For me, pretending it had stopped mattering would not be honest. The past mattered. In some ways, it still does. Letting go does not require me to rewrite that part of my life as meaningless. It does mean accepting that I cannot keep holding on to it in the same way.
A concert gives that feeling a place for a while. There is no need to explain every detail before the next song starts. I could listen without turning everything into a story I was ready to tell other people.
There are still things I want to do
I do not think feelings need to be rushed into a conclusion. Some things take longer than I would like, and keeping part of them private is okay.
At the same time, I do not want to stay in this place forever. There are still things I want to do. I want to keep trying, even if I cannot yet describe exactly what moving on looks like.
That was the balance I kept coming back to that night: allowing the sadness without making it the only thing left. Not demanding that I be fine immediately, but not giving up on the possibility of feeling differently later either.
Another kind of goodbye near the end
Near the end of the concert, there was an announcement that drummer Chimot would be stepping back. My thoughts returned to the blue butterfly from the opening.
I am not saying those things were connected, or that the image had predicted the announcement. It was simply the association that came back to me in that moment.
His situation and mine are different. I do not know his private reasons, and I do not want to invent them. But hearing that announcement while I was already thinking about letting go made the difficulty of saying goodbye feel close again.
Anyway, I am glad I went
I left glad that I had made the trip. I got to hear a band I had known for years, at a point when their songs meant something different to me.
I hope their music keeps reaching people, both in Indonesia and beyond it. As for me, I am still working through things. There is no tidy ending to attach to the footage, and I do not think the night needs one. I went, I listened, and I still want to try.
Watch the trip and the concert reflection: for Revenge — Titik Sadrah on YouTube.